Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Have a Cigar

Our distinguished conservative punditry give us two ways to explain the recent economic crisis. First, Dr. Helen unearths a conspiracy that, ostensibly, includes such disparate figures as Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Henry Paulson, Ben Bernanke, John Boehner, the Wall St. Journal and the MSM:

Is your head spinning from all the doom and gloom being blasted from the media and Congress day and night about impending financial disaster? Mine is, and frankly, I sometimes wonder how much of the financial picture is accurate and how much is manufactured in order to get a Democrat elected. One has to ponder about the timing of all of this bad news.

Why the crescendo of economic collapse right before the election? Why didn’t the media and congress act just as concerned some time ago or wait until sometime after the election to go into crisis mode? The timing of the current financial crisis seems too planned and calculating to be just a coincidence. Polls show that people’s number one concern right now is the economy and that for the most part, voters believe Democrats are somewhat more likely to help with the economy. Could it be that the liberal media and those in Congress, knowing that, is blaring the bad economic news from the rooftops in order to manipulate voters into voting for a Democrat? If so, it won’t be the first time.

And if it weren't for you meddling conservative pundits, they would have got away with it too. In the alternative, Kathryn Jean Lopez, editor of the website of the premiere American conservative magazine, offers this chronologically-challenged effect and cause cause and effect:

Does the selloff on Wall Street have anything to do with the increasing likelihood that Obama will be our next president?

Note that the two trends — the financial meltdown, despite passage of the bailout, and the solidification of Obama’s lead — are coinciding. At a minimum, the market’s behavior is not a vote of confidence in an Obama presidency.

So, for those following along with conservative attempts to explain real world phenomena using the Liberagayislamofasciblametron XG, the story goes something like this: Members of both political parties, including both presidential candidates, as well as media outlets as diverse as the New York Times and Fox News, are conspiring to give Obama and other Congressional Democrats the win by agreeing (via super secret hand shake and blink code) to hype and exaggerate economic non-crises. The bipartisan propaganda blitz regarding these non-crises is causing the stock market to plummet, yet the stock market is really plummeting because Obama's poll numbers started increasing after it plummeted. Causing it to plummet in the first place.

Heh. Indeed.

(both versions of alternative reality via Matt)

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